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Abraham Hicks 2018 - Relationships - This is why your feelings hurt sometimes

But where there is trust, there is motivation to act. If you trust someone is looking after your best interests, you will do almost anything that person asks of you. Being humble doesn't mean that you lack self-confidence or that you never stand up for your own opinions or principles. Rather, it involves recognizing that you don't know everything--and being willing to learn from others. One of the quickest ways to gain someone's trust is to help them. Think about your favorite boss or teacher.

Where they graduated from, what kind of degree they have, even their previous accomplishments--none of this is relevant to your relationship. But what about the hours they were willing to take out of their busy schedule to listen or help out? Their readiness to get down in the trenches and work alongside you?

Actions like these inspire trust. Honest communication requires more than saying what you sincerely believe; it means avoiding half-truths and ensuring the information you present is done in a way that will not be misinterpreted. Focusing on technicalities, loopholes, and escape clauses may win you a trial in court, but it won't win you others' trust. Authenticity doesn't mean sharing everything about yourself, to everyone, all of the time.

Every promise you deliver upon, every humble act you commit, every word of sincere and specific praise you utter, and every effort to show empathy will contribute to building deep and trusting relationships--like the untold number of delicate brushstrokes that make up a beautiful painting. When others fall, help them up. If you keep your own failings in mind, you'll find it easier to encourage and build up rather than dishearten and tear down. By choosing to focus on the positive, skillfully sharing your own experience, or simply reminding the person that everyone has a bad day, you'll not only make the best of a bad situation--you'll win others' trust, and you'll inspire them to be the best version of themselves.

When someone's willing to share their thoughts, consider it a gift. Process it. Ponder it. Accept it. Learn from it. Whether it's negative or positive, don't let it define you. Take what you can and move on. Remember: although we're generally drawn to like-minded people, it's those who disagree with us--the ones who call us out, who point out our weaknesses and flaws--who help us grow.

Those who challenge us truly make us better. Emotional hijacks--those moments in which your emotions cause you to do or say something you later regret--aren't pleasant, but they're inevitable. The question is: What are you going to do with them? Feedback is like an unpolished diamond. To the untrained eye, a freshly mined gem may not look valuable, or even attractive. But after the long and complex process of sorting, cutting, and polishing, its true value becomes obvious. In a similar way, learning to extract the benefits of criticism can prove to be an invaluable skill.

A quick word about empathy: You'll never be able to imagine exactly how another person feels. But trying will get you a lot closer than you would be otherwise. If you truly want to get your point across, aim to be kind and fair, not accusatory or sarcastic. The old saying is true: you'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. At the very least, make honey the appetizer. Get to know their pain points so you can help solve them.


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This will allow you to speak in a way they understand. Even more importantly, this will help you reach them emotionally--which may in turn motivate them to act. An approach based on reason is sound, fair, and sensible. The problem is, what one person considers sound, fair, and sensible is much different from someone else's assessment--especially when dealing with controversial topics. That's why empathy is so important: it allows you to reason from the other person's point of view instead of your own. In the course of a discussion, you may become even more convinced that the other person is wrong.

You may see key weaknesses in their position and be tempted to "go for the kill.

Words and feelings that often come up in marriage

But people are emotionally attached to their beliefs. If you mercilessly expose every flaw in your partner's reasoning, they'll feel attacked. Remember that lasting influence takes time. Your goal isn't to "win the argument" or change someone's mind in a single discussion.

Rather, strive to see the bigger picture. But used alone, their reach is extremely limited. Simply put, they're boring.

7 Signs Your Insecurities Are Affecting Your Relationship, According To Experts

But everyone loves a great story. If someone loves you, then they will want for you to be happy. One way we do this is by blaming others and their actions for how we are feeling. Most importantly, jealousy is never an excuse for anyone to be mean, hurtful or abusive. Dating is supposed to be enjoyable.

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Do you have feelings for more than one person? Is it cool to date more than one person at a time? Agree on what you want your relationship to involve. Things to consider if you have an open relationship Our actions affect others Think about how your actions or choices — particularly your sexual choices — will affect your partner and the other person involved. What can I do now?

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Be up-front and honest. Find out more about consent.


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